


Hiatus; Resignation

by Raaj



Series: A Good Deal [2]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Bad Ending, Gen, apologies to Morgana
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 20:03:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17873942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raaj/pseuds/Raaj
Summary: Yusuke would prefer that Ren took a break.  To let himself rest, and protect his heart from becoming resentful or hateful toward the public they mean to help.But they've long, long passed that point.





	Hiatus; Resignation

Ren still watched the people with Yusuke, but now he did so with heavily hooded eyes. He'd slipped one earbud in--he was wearing it on his side facing away from Yusuke, but the artist easily discerned the black cord dangling from face to pocket. Ren had an ear open if Yusuke wanted to talk, but he had no apparent interest in listening to the bustle of the crowd around them, or observing them in any way.

Yusuke glanced away, frowning, and tried to refocus on his work; when he pressed down on his sketchpad too firmly and snapped the lead of his pencil, he did not bother taking out his spare. "Ren." His fellow Phantom Thief's eyes lit up from their darkness as he turned. "I'd like to make an unusual request. I believe that our group is in need of a hiatus."

"Hiatus?"

Their voices were hushed in the chatter of the train station; none of the passers-by spared them a glance.

"An extended break. Perhaps a month or so, though I would rather--"

"That's too long."

"--I would rather not mark it strictly by time. To be quite honest, a month seems on the shorter side to me for the necessary changes."

In serious situations, Ren could be hard to read; one had to pay attention to the fine details. The slight downturn at one corner of the lips, the shifting of his weight. "And what are the necessary changes?"

"We remember what we act for."

The wrinkle of the brow, and the smallest exhale. Exasperation. "We all know what we're for," Ren said. "Giving courage to the weak."

"It isn't enough to say it," Yusuke retorted. "Especially not when your demeanor undercuts your words."

He knew he was being blunt with his words, but perhaps the conversation merited it. In turn, the canvas of Ren's face went carefully blank. One was free to see whatever they liked on it. Ren was skilled at this trick, but he could be accused of relying on it too much. "This is about me?"

"Not entirely," Yusuke said. "I see the risk of burn-out for others, myself included. But it seems like you are already there."

No denial sprang forth. Yusuke took that as a cue to press further.

"I have enjoyed people-watching with you in the past. I must be honest: I am not always observing the people. Sometimes I am watching your observation of them. Not only have you made interesting commentary, but your expressions were intriguing."

"Sorry I'm boring now."

He caught himself gritting his teeth and forced himself to relax his jaw. Ren often used wit, or the facsimile of it, to deflect. "More _concerning_. You used to show interest in those around you, in various ways." The nuances were not important right now, though they were still vivid in Yusuke's mind: the occasions in the beginning when Ren's guard was lowered and his face betrayed longing, to happier moments later on when his expression was more content, even proud as he looked out at the people. Now? Nothing. "You are our leader. Of all of us, you have always been the most at risk of burning out, because you have the most pressure on you. The most exposure to the ills of the human heart." Yusuke paused. "You have told me yourself that there is no shame in needing rest. I would rather you take a break before... before you grow to loathe humanity."

Ren stuffed his hands into his pockets, considering Yusuke.

He still wasn't denying it.

After a long pause, he said, "People won't get any better if we're not out there."

"So your answer is to continue burning the candle at both ends."

"Really? I take breaks, Yusuke. I'm taking a break right now."

"Hardly a break when you don't enjoy the activity, is it?" Yusuke retorted. "The company?"

Oh. A chink in that calm mask, a twinge of irritation as Ren's lips twisted and his voice raised. "I'm not keeping company with these-- _people_." He had nearly said something else, Yusuke thought. Almost certainly something worse. "I'm with _you_." He huffed and deflated back into the more easy-going manner, leaning his back against the wall. "I'm here because you like this. So what if it's not my favorite thing? Give-and-take is part of any friendship."

"You have my thanks," Yusuke acknowledged. He knew that people found him difficult; that Ren had far more patience with him than most. And the way Ren had snarled had been concerning, but it was a concession in itself. An admission. They could at least be honest now that he was...less than fond of people, at the moment. To push forward with this progress, or back off? Yusuke knew he would hate being hounded over a matter like this in public himself. Perhaps a compromise. "But I'd like to do something that you enjoy for a change."

They could acknowledge that Ren hated this activity, and presumably go somewhere more private. Allow time for his friend to regain his composure and good humor. And then speak again, both about Ren's understanding of 'give-and-take'--the greatest irony of the phantom thief had always been his aversion to take even a fraction of what he gave--and of the possibility of taking a break, because the rapid-fire pace Ren had been setting was unsustainable in the long term.

The worst of it was that the group still voted unanimously on targets, but with the understanding that with Makoto and Haru both in university now, not all members would always be available, and they would all be taking days off at times. Except Ren did not. Futaba coordinated who would be able to go in and who would not; she kept a record of mission participation, partially for analysis, partially for her own curiosity. The group ran so smoothly now that they took down a target about once every two weeks, often weekly; in the case of the hospital trafficking organs, they'd coordinated everyone's schedules to take down multiple palace rulers simultaneously, as a calling card to one conspirator was effectively a calling card to all. It would not be inappropriate to call their pace frenetic. Everyone else had had to take at least one break, even Futaba. And yet Ren had never excused himself from a single Palace outing. Was, in fact, going into the metaverse on his own, though Yusuke could not bring up that point without exposing Futaba's resumed monitoring of his phone. She'd never disabled her program to begin with, but she claimed she'd stopped paying close attention to it until she just happened to glance and realize Ren activated the metaverse app more often than their missions called for. Daily. Then she had started to track more closely. She'd been afraid he was pursuing targets on his own, but as Ren wasn't entering any names besides voted targets into the app, they'd concluded he was most likely training in Mementos. The vigilance was still excessive and worrying. He no longer had someone to tell him to rest, after all. Yusuke would have to take that role, even if Futaba had said his own track record should disqualify him.

Ren looked contemplative, and Yusuke supposed that was progress in itself, but was it really so hard to think of an activity he'd enjoy? Then again, Yusuke knew of the downward spirals that accompanied art slumps, how he could not even think of the idea of doing something pleasurable for himself because his sole desire was to break through his frustration--inevitably vexing himself further on most occasions. Ren was not having a slump in terms of his performance, but...was he frustrated with the results? He was obviously unhappy with the public.

It brought to mind something Yusuke had been thinking to himself for some months, and he found himself voicing it before he could reconsider. "If we were to disappear for a time, the people might actually learn to take care of themselves."

The way Ren chuckled was like a flame licking at his guts: smoldering and angry, the dark pitch of the unexpected sound made Yusuke feel off-balance. "You really think so?"

It wasn't right for Ren. But then, something hadn't been right for a long time. The way Morgana had disappeared shortly after New Year's...

"I'd enjoy taking down a target, but somehow I don't think you'd like helping me find a name," Ren said, smiling wryly.

That baiting comment kept Yusuke from dwelling on the matter of Morgana. It was a good thing he hadn't taken out his spare pencil; he might have snapped it clean in half. For Ren to suggest the remedy was yet more and more-- "Is there no way I can make you take my concern seriously? If you don't even believe in the people's ability to change, what purpose does our group serve? You are losing sight of what we are for, Ren. I ask once more that we take a break."

"Show me you're serious. If I refuse, what will you do?"

Yusuke grimaced. He had expected Ren to deny that there was even a problem--not to balk at taking a sensible step to correct it. Why was he being so vexing? "...Our targets must be unanimous, you know."

"...You'll reject the next target? It could be a rapist. An abuser. A killer."

"I will reject them all," Yusuke said firmly. "If that is the only way to make you rest." The Phantom Thieves' way was not the only way to bring criminals to justice. And it would not be justice to participate in a friend wearing himself to the bone.

He flinched when Ren's hand darted for him. Ren was not the type to be violent over an argument, but Ren was also not himself--but his hand only touched Yusuke's chin, prompting him to lock eyes.

The darkness in Ren's eyes was softer this time. Inviting, rather than shutting out. Or...no. Consuming, taking in to evaluate. What Yusuke might expect if he were posing for another art student. A look he had probably given others himself on a few occasions.

If that were the case, he was starting to understand why Ann had thought him a stalker at first. He tolerated the touch as he would from another student, he tolerated it because it was only Ren, but his senses were still telling him something was not right. Perhaps it was the smile starting to curl his friend's lips. What about this scene merited that expression?

"It's been a while since I've argued with any of you."

"Perhaps we should argue with you more, then," Yusuke said, just to be contrary--he could not honestly think of anything disagreeable Ren had done recently outside of neglecting himself. He had earned their trust as a leader. They relied on him.

"You should. You seem more real now."

That feeling of something wrong intensified. He wondered what the world looked like in Ren's eyes: if things were in their place and he simply found them displeasing, or if things were warped, twisted. Seeming surreal, or even _fake_. "Ren--"

His friend's smile broadened further as he let Yusuke go, stepping back. "I am glad I came out here today," he said. "You've inspired me."

Words of praise under any other circumstances, but right now Yusuke shook his head jerkily. "You're not making sense."

"It's become too easy," Ren said, shuffling away. He was still beaming, excited. "It's no fun to always get your way."

Maybe they needed to let Makoto lead for a few weeks (or a few _months_ ) if this was how Ren felt. The artist couldn't even find the words to respond. Too easy? If Ren was describing their work in the Metaverse, every other thief would most certainly disagree with him.

"You've given me something to consider. So thanks. I'll see you later, Yusuke."

"Hold on a..."

But Ren had already turned away, sticking the other earbud in and gliding into the crowd. Yusuke looked after him, debating whether to pursue... no. He would not easily catch Ren. Instead he snatched up his sketchbook. Flipped it open. His pencil flew over the page as he tried to recreate the expression his friend had shown, as if doing so could lay bare the thoughts behind it.

He had a vague hope that Ren would reconsider, and take the break Yusuke had requested, but that was dashed when a Phantom Thieves meeting was called a mere three days later. Ryuji, Makoto, Ann and Haru all looked at him with astonishment when he voted no to the newest target--a suspect of multiple kidnappings with a Palace in the same place many of the victims had vanished, how could he say no? (How did Ren get such intelligence so quickly?)--but Futaba quickly seconded his refusal with her own rejection. And then they laid it out. That their concern was not the target, but the group's pacing. Futaba plucked up the nerve to tell Ren that she knew he had been going to the Metaverse on his own every day. That, Ren hadn't expected, Yusuke could see in the widening of his eyes; that shifted the energy of the group. Ryuji and Ann, Makoto and Haru, all of them had noticed changes in Ren. All of them had excused it until now.

Perhaps Ren had been right. They should have challenged him more, because they had all held concerns, had been holding them back so long that now they came out like a tidal wave. At the end of things, Ren was quiet. He agreed to take a break. The others would handle the kidnapper without him.

And he smiled.

No one could get him to talk about why, exactly, he'd been pushing himself so hard, though they all tried in one-on-one meetings with Ren. Everyone suspected it was tied to how suddenly Morgana had gotten sick after the turn of the new year and vanished, but that subject was still sore for all of them. No one was eager to bring it up directly. Futaba reported Ren had stopped going into the metaverse, at least. That was its own progress. Maybe in time he would be ready to speak about it.

A week after the meeting, he said he would be going back to his hometown. He was taking a break, anyway, and it was summer vacation; he hadn't seen his parents since before his probation started, and since it had ended in March, he was now a few months overdue. They made a roadtrip out of dropping him off. He kept in contact with them regularly, telling them about what he was doing. It sounded like a very sleepy place; Ren spent most of the days fishing.

The last anyone heard from Ren was three days before Shujin was to resume classes. Ryuji had texted him that he was 'pumped' for him to be coming back, to which Ren had replied he hoped Ryuji was ready for a big surprise, a cheeky emoticon accompanying the message.

The day after, Sojiro called Ren's parents, concerned that they still hadn't told him when to expect Ren. To which their response was first disbelief, and then shock; because, as Sojiro told the Phantom Thieves later, running a hand through thinning hair in nervous agitation, they'd believed Ren was already at Leblanc. Their son had only stayed with them for a week and a half before leaving with the excuse that he wanted to be back in Tokyo.

Futaba was so furious when she discovered how Ren had fooled them about his location that Yusuke couldn't make heads or tails of her explanation; Makoto had to parse it for him. Now that Futaba knew Ren had been deceiving them, figuring out his past whereabouts was simple: he had indeed returned to Tokyo after leaving his parents, though he'd been moving in different districts and seemed to have abandoned his phone by now. (If he ever cared to pick it back up, he had hundreds of new texts waiting for him, all furious, all worried, the majority angrily pounded out by Futaba, though Ryuji and Ann gave her competition for sheer volume.) She figured that out in ten minutes once she knew to trace his number, but before that, she'd relied on the bug she had already placed on his phone--just as Ren had known she would. The location her program reported had been based on what his phone _thought_  its location was, and there were apps to fake that, apparently. Ren's love of fishing had been a pretense for a pattern of movement that was simple to forge.

As a Phantom Thief's trick, it was respectably clever. Everyone knew Futaba was the technological expert, and rather than try to challenge her in her element, Ren had used her confidence against her. The main issue was that Ren had felt the need to trick her, his parents, and everyone else. That he'd felt the need to vanish from his own life. _Why_ , the question they'd failed to answer before, became even more pressing.

The shadows of Mementos weren't helping. The mood in the labyrinth had begun to change lately; Queen attempted fewer and fewer negotiations. She had never taken to it quite as well as Ren had, couldn't command fear or loyalty from the enemy so easily, but now the shadows weren't just unruly; they were outright mocking, taunting her with questions that didn't make sense. They asked if the thieves knew why they had been given permission to leave their cells.

They asked if the thieves knew where their warden was.


End file.
